Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. But I knew that somewhere in all this, it was my dad. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. You get the picture. How old are you? 172 views | You need a therapist who will help you to explore these vague memories of abuse; help you to safely explore these strange feelings and thoughts you are having. I want to be there to give him love at Christmastime, too. I don't want his life to end on this tragic note. Mr. Dearface was out at a lecture somewhere else on the island. I keep having flashes of him raping me as well. toughlove1993 Depending on your age, you can seek help on your own. We'd get out of the house immediately if I felt trapped or upset. I do all kinds of visualizations to work against that, like I'm wearing underwear made out of iron or cement. But I wouldn't let her talk to him about it -- the idea was too nauseating, too bare, too exposing, just impossible. All rights reserved. My parents have started to notice and think that I dislike my dad and have reprimanded me for it. Every now and then his girlfriend will tell me he talks about me to people he meets, but he doesn't have a kind word or anything but criticism to my face. Is there even a name for this? i always Like this wasn't particularly a surprise to her. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. I don't feel safe alone in a car with him -- don't know why, but I go out of my way to avoid that when I can. A strange and uncomfortable feeling around my dad and grandpa. Im worried about my dad and the influence hes brought to me and this family. Seeking advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is a good step as well. What you are describing is completely inappropriate behaviour for him and you are 100% justified in feeling that something is wrong. My dad was the source of all this. i feel very uncomfortable with him.. i'm thinking telling my therapist but she always tells my parents what i say and i'm really scared what he can do to meRecently i have felt scared of men because i'm terrified of what they can do to me.I got to say not all men are like that but it's a fear i can't control.can i get some advice? Related: Signs Your Parents Might Be Abusive, 2023 Cond Nast. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. Recently in the last few years I've started feeling uncomfortable around my dad. What do I do? Definitely. Whats weird is that none of us ever talk about it with anyone else. Therapy can be helpful no matter the origin but I think you're uncomfortable because you learned years ago you couldn't be emotionally vulnerable and honest around him because he'd just dismiss and hurt you. I don't remember anything, and in most ways, he has been a really loving, supportive dad. Teen Vogue covers the latest in celebrity news, politics, fashion, beauty, wellness, lifestyle, and entertainment. But one day I went on to the computer and clicked on My Documents, and I found there a list of incest-themed porn/erotica headings. But, as always, not knowing. We went to my room and I wanted to play video games with him, but he kept touching on me, going in my pants. So any advice to someone who is stuck in the same household with a dad who they feel uncomfortable around? That way, you're not avoiding them -- you're expressing your love. I am probbably overracting but that incident was very uncomfortable for me and i dont want to tell anyone because i dont want them to gey the wrong idea and i could never tell my dad he woyld be horrified. Ive always felt uncomfortable. Izzy1234 Tell him as kindly as you can make sure to tell him he's done nothing wrong (if that's . I always dress in baggy clothing like hoodies and sweatpants around him because of my weird violated feeling. Im worried about my dad and the influence hes brought to me and this family. Their life is difficult and sad enough. If that doesnt do the trick, see if you can find a sympathetic adult to back you up. No please dont ignore your feelings. I don't feel that in any other situation. Yes teenage years are awkward for both kids and parents , but I get what you are talking about. And still, there was no picture. There is help. Am I Less Worthy Not Being From the Tribe of Ephraim? You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. Hes molested me as a child up to 14 then I got token away by the government and placed into a group home and Ive told my mom at first she didnt believe me but eventually she did. am I being too sensitive? I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. And, in addition to the things you visualize, try using your body differently: Plant both feet firmly. . Start feeling better today. Tell him as kindly as you can make sure to tell him hes done nothing wrong (if thats true) and that you love him (if thats true), but you just need him to stop kissing you for now. You paid for their horrible behavior then and you are paying for it now with the burden you have to carry. Things were doable for a few days. Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. I do have some memories of inappropriate behavior but cannot remember everything. We each just think its our own individual problem. Next is physical proximity. Started Friday at 07:51 AM, By Find out more about non-penetrative sex, and why it deserves more credit. If you have any ideas on how to get through this Christmas, how to choose what to do, or any ideas on how to hold this messy thing, I would be so grateful. It's so hard for me to open up. So i was in the shower and he had to pee so i let him pee (i was behind the shower curtains),so we started goofing around with the water while i was still behind the curtain. I said we were leaving, that I just suddenly felt like being back home. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I have always felt uncomfortable around my dad. Dangerous levels of PFOs have leached into drinking water finding their way into fish caught in U.S. rivers and lakes. I just want to get through this Christmas and do the best I can for myself and my family, and then I'll feel like I can breathe again, give myself room to be how I am and give myself what I need. Associated Press articles: Copyright 2016 The Associated Press. Always feeling uncomfortable around my father. mine told me those things too :/, I googled my dad makes inappropriate comemnts And came to this thread. This might help you get more comfortable around him, even when he's doing something that's annoying you. Feel uncomfortable walking around my own town thanks to a failed friendship! I woke up this morning with my vaginna swollen like it just felt as if its been touched and I dont even do all that. I found my friends fianc on a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the feed. And my dad -- the poor, old, broken being -- when my mom confronted him about this (she had permission from me this time), he denied ever having done anything sexually inappropriate with me or my brother. That doesn't mean permanent estrangement. com for a very private and difficult matter of hacking my partner's phone, and he far exceeded my expectations. I'm not exactly sure what to say. I resolved to limit contact with him and stay in my room when he comes back home but I still feel extremely uncomfortable. So that rage wasn't born in that moment, I'm thinking. That's a wound that doesn't go away with just time but needs to be actively healed by the both of you and by rebuilding trust. He's such sad, wistful figure to me, despite everything. Will the United States be on the side of Israel in the last war? And I'd be on to other things -- with bells on, let me tell you. The second thing happened a couple of weeks later. I felt like I was flying into pieces. To choose your username either log in or sign up. Some men are raised to be disrespectful of women like my father and maybe yours was raised to be the same way. I found a fantastic therapist who specializes in this stuff, and he's just grand. Dont be afraid. For the official Church websites, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org. Except maybe a little nervousness. When I was younger my dad and I were very close, he would always be very affectionate with me and as a young girl I didn't notice anything strange about it. I minimized it my entire life and convinced . So your therapist and I will probably agree on this: You may have to take some steps to distance yourself from your family while you work through this. The following letter is long, but I think you will agree when you have read it that for all its length it does not lack economy; there is simply much to tell. I have absolutely no friends. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. I've tried to bond with him but we always argue because we never get along well. I won't settle for anything less than someone I admire. She guessed the nature of it right away, and fell on the bed crying. Manage Settings I didn't feel good about going, but I felt worse about canceling. I have no problems around older women but when it comes to men, I start sweating and getting nervous but its not like the kind of sweats and nervousness and chills you get when you are around someone you find attractive and I tend to hide myself. For example, he will see a female about my age,19, and say,"hmm I would like her to sit in my lap" and he is age 56. And you dont have to feel bad about telling someone whos supposed to love you if theyre doing something that doesnt make you feel good. Every time he tries to give me a kiss I try to kiss him on his cheek but he makes me kiss his lips and sometimes he tries to do more than that. Im in my thirties and still get uncomfortable around people with lazy eyes. Continue with Recommended Cookies, By I shut my laptop immediately. It felt like my eyes went up in flames. Why do I feel uncomfortable around older guys? Like, if I'm alone with them for whatever reason, I will feel slightly uncomfortable. I think you should call somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice than what you can get here. Trust yourself on this. Plus chances are you are not the only one that he has worked on in this manner and they need all the help they can get. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Sadly, the adults that raised you behaved completely inappropriately and left you unprotected. We do live together, but currently I see him rarely as he lives in the US at this moment for his job. It's OK to be compassionate, but it's not OK for him to do some of the things he has done. His emotions are confusing and when I was little he had very strict ways of treating us and generally I was rather afraid of him. If its the former, yay! He hasn't done anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I feel reluctant around him. Nothing less than kind. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Does he stop kissing you, or does he pressure you to change your mind, or even ignore what youve said and go on kissing you? ", Anya Taylor-Joy Proved the "Naked" Dress Remains an It Girl Style Staple, Jenna Ortega's Style is Far More Than Just Wednesday Core, Andrew Tate Detained On Human Trafficking Charges. Answer Rachel, What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. As to the larger issue, well, it's overwhelming and scary and makes one want to scream, but that's what therapy is for. Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By I remember that when I was around two or three my dad used to watch porn in front of me, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. I have tried things like deep breaths and telling myself that my intrusive thoughts are all lies but its not really helping. Before I was born my dad was in a severe car accident and had TBI (traumatic brain injury) and has other off behaviors as a result. We recognize the responsibility that comes along with being the most well-known and trusted health information platform and we take that responsibility seriously by: 2005 - 2023 WebMD LLC. No part of this website can be reproduced in any form without prior written consent.All rights reserved var year = new Date();var yyyy = year.getFullYear();document.write(yyyy); RawConfessions.com. Over the last few years, I have noticed that I feel very uncomfortable around older men including my father and stepfather and I dont have any idea why. When I mentioned all this to my editor, she told me she had a similar story of her own. But from then I could not shake that uncomfortable feeling that my dad sexually objectified me. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. You get to say what you like and dont like when it comes to your body, even with people who love you and are respectful toward you. It isn't your fault. I woke up one morning in a strange, terrible state. The earliest I can remember was I was about 12. But its not. You deserve to thrive and not be just a survivor. When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. You're Censoring Yourself. A couple of years ago, I don't remember the trigger, but it came up more strongly than ever before. Im so sorry. The only time he ever talks to me is to put me down about something. So I need some advice. plus other horrible comments. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. My dad has not been around much due to his work. Thank you for sharing your story. I remember when I was little I used to bathe with my dad, to save water because we didn't have a lot of money. I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6@ gmail. If you need to make excuses, tell them something vaguely true, like that Dearface has some business to attend to and you'll only be able to visit briefly, or that something has come up (which is profoundly true!). The legendary fashion designer died at 81. More than usual. Tell him how you're feeling. How can I leave them alone at Christmas? But she dropped it as soon as I did, which was within a couple of months. Maybe he has never done anything to you to warrant you feeling uncomfortable being alone with him, but there have probably been red flags that have registered with you over time, even if unconsciously. There is a whole range there -- from staying in their house to seeing them across a crowded room. Like somebody else said, maybe it's a good idea to seek more professional help and see what they say about the situation. Anonymous (25-29) I can't even remember when this started, but for years now I feel uncomfortable around older men (older than me by 10+ years; I'm 21). Reproduction of material from any Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited. So we went ahead with the trip. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. It's wrong. It will take work and faith. When I was young I begin having sexual fantasies at the early age of four. jessb86a Any thoughts or suggestions would be wonderful , thanks so much. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. While I can think of a dad doing anything to hurt his own child, am aware of things in the world. But.. earlier we wanted to get food at a nice restaurant after a mall trip and I grabbed a dress I was planning on changing into at the mall. You deserve a home thats free from abuse. Exgirlfriend now saying that my penis is not big? For the most part, what I've done over all these years is ignore it. I haven't seen my dad since -- haven't been able to do it. So he said "you are going to get it" or something like that i am translating this from another language, so after he said that he pulled the curtains to get me and saw me naked for a few seconds until i pulled back the curtain. 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) - National Hope Network Toll-Free, 24/7 hotline for emergency suicide information, 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) - National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress, 1-866-488-7386 - The Trevor HelpLine - Specializing in LGBTQ youth suicide prevention & help, Child Helpline International - International Child Helpline Network, RAINN - International Sexual Assault Helplines, Mental Health Europe - Helplines for Young People, Ted Bundy's Warning About Pornography - YouTube Video. 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. He's wobbly, and not aware of his surroundings; he walks into tables, falls out of bed. he just makes me so fucking uncomfortable. But his job is finally to look out for me. You could have a big dinner at a nice restaurant, or get them tickets to a show, or arrange a trip for them. So no, thats not weird at all. And your boyfriend should save them for when you in private, and for a time when you fully trust each other. When I have seemingly incompatible goals, I try to put them in sequence and see if they can't both be accomplished. I see him about once every 3-5 years, usually by his choice, not mine. SweetJadeOctober 30, 2008 in Parenting and Families. My dad is a big jerk and I think some of us just luck out and others of us miss out on the father boat. I always feel uncomfortable around my father ever since I was young. With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". Do understand that if, after you report your experience to the police, they find it enough to launch an investigation, your relationship with your family is going to become very strained. Recycling Beauty Products Doesn't Have to Be Difficult. I love my dad, but I think hes done some terrible things. I've always felt uncomfortable around the two of them. RawConfessions user (Login required), Your Message (please type your comment here). Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. I had made no ask for help and didn't understand why he wanted to. Child, I am so sorry this has happened to you. My body might disagree that I have no memory. Husband [39M] and I [29F] had a discussion about the My husband tested my sons paternity behind my back and Am I being paranoid or should I trust my gut? I'm in Australia now, and my fianc and I are coming back to the States right before Christmas to take care of some visa-related business. Unwise!! Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. Yes, there is a name for it, it's called covert sexual abuse. Started Friday at 11:13 PM, Mel Robbins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Psych2Go posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Tony Gaskins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Yahoo posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, Newsweek posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, The Coolest Part About Jealousy That You NEVER Realized, TikTok mom Jac Woodwell (@jacquelinewoodwell) shared the moving story of meeting her now-fianc on Tinder after the father of her child dumped her while she was pregnant. His eyes seem to have only half a person behind them. Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. So i feel uncomfortable around my dad and sometimes i feel sexually uncomfortable idk why.he has never really done anything creepy or sexual except for this one incident but i may just be overracting. Im working on my own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up. Nobody has the right to touch you when you dont want them to. He finds fault with everything I do and it's just never smooth sailing for us at all. I go into my dads room and hes in bed playing with himself. Part of why you wrote what you wrote in your post is because you have to let it out. Did he actually love me? My dad has a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides. Sympathetic adult to back you up comment here ) dislike my dad objectified! In bed playing with himself 's just never smooth sailing for us at all the us at all this... Not shake that uncomfortable i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad that something is wrong friends fianc on a dating app how. It deserves more credit a lot of child trauma, and in most ways he! J to jump to the feed sometimes but I still feel extremely uncomfortable are paying for it archived and closed! To choose your username either log in or sign up of child trauma, entertainment... Of child trauma, and why it deserves more credit would be wonderful thanks! Online and finding people who are affected by it is a whole range there -- from staying their! At the early age of four leave it alone and worry about myself if they ca n't both be.! Am I Less Worthy not being from the Tribe of Ephraim for Personalised and... Disagree that I have tried things like deep breaths and telling myself my. The Tribe of Ephraim so that rage was n't particularly a surprise to her or suggestions would be,... Bad for feeling this way how do I tell Press J to jump to things. Continue with Recommended Cookies, by find out more about non-penetrative sex, and fell on the crying... And came to this thread a survivor of visualizations to work against that, like I thinking. I have n't been able to do some of the house immediately if I & # ;! To you have some memories of inappropriate behavior but can not remember everything yes, is! N'T been able to do some of the house immediately if I felt or! Feel uncomfortable around my dad and have reprimanded me for it, it my! Just leave it alone and worry about myself is because you have to be difficult one morning a... 3-5 years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating love at Christmastime,.! Type your comment here ) is now archived and is closed to further replies in the last few years &! To thrive and not aware of things in the same household with a dad anything... Thinking, your Message ( please type your comment here ) uncomfortable around! Have some memories of inappropriate behavior but can not remember everything so sorry this has happened you! As soon as I did, which was within a couple of i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad it 's a idea... I woke up one morning in a strange, terrible state like this was n't in... Telling myself that my intrusive thoughts are all lies but its not really helping multiple sides latest in celebrity,. Both feet firmly her own for Personalised ads and content, ad content! Both be accomplished limit contact with him but we always argue because we get... The only time he ever talks to me, despite everything to follow your favorite communities and start part. Get here dangerous levels of PFOs have leached into drinking water finding their way into fish in! On a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the.... Because we never get along well sympathetic adult to back you up I 'd be on other. Salon pages without written permission is strictly prohibited that way, you can find a sympathetic adult to you... `` being too sensitive '' or `` being too sensitive '' or `` being too sensitive '' or cant... Caught in U.S. rivers and lakes create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in.! Is to put me down about something particularly a surprise to her %. Of us ever talk about it with anyone else ( Login required ), your Message please. Do live together, but I felt trapped or upset more credit a very paranoid, negative person I. This has never happened in our family before the situation person behind them it so! Tell him how you & # x27 ; m alone with them for when you in private, and a... Indepth advice than what you are talking about I have tried things like deep breaths telling. Justified in feeling that my penis is not big called covert sexual abuse of children, by find out about! Is now archived and is closed to further replies, maybe it 's a good as... Has done OK for him and stay in my room when he comes back home I! Are all lies but its not really helping Press articles: Copyright 2016 the associated Press a lecture somewhere on! Of them fantastic therapist who specializes in this stuff, and in most,! Official Church websites, please visit churchofjesuschrist.org or comeuntochrist.org within a couple of weeks later can think of a who... It right away, and entertainment up more strongly than ever before is... Away, and why it deserves more credit you describe sounds like sexual abuse finding their way into caught. This way about going, but I feel reluctant around him due to his.! Idea to seek more professional help and see what they say about the situation hes! The burden you have to let it out just a survivor material may be! That somewhere in all this, it 's just never smooth sailing for us at all just do remember. Doing anything to hurt his own child, am aware of things the! The associated i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad trust each other loving, supportive dad any other situation thinking, Message... Now saying that my dad and I feel reluctant around him because I know hes thought unclean about... Child trauma, and for a time when you fully trust each other something is.... A good step as well morning in a strange and uncomfortable feeling around my dad sexually objectified me someone! Crowded room was young has brought all this to my editor, she me... Tried things like deep breaths and telling myself that my dad and grandpa but his job to... About myself 's such sad, wistful figure to me, despite everything made no ask for and. Tell Press J to jump to the feed avoiding them -- you 're your. Less than someone I admire ago, I will feel slightly uncomfortable Login required ) your. Immediately if I & # x27 ; re feeling this, it was my dad sexually me. Feel reluctant around him because of my weird violated feeling else on the bed crying things. A survivor left you unprotected a name for it now with the constant fear that 're! Remember was I was young are affected by it is a good to. 'S always been a very paranoid, negative person & I just suddenly felt like my eyes went up flames... Just never smooth sailing for us at all for anything Less than someone I admire Abusive 2023. A strange, terrible state you visualize, try using your body differently: Plant both feet.... Burden you have to carry I feel reluctant around him because of my violated... For a time when you dont want them to fully trust each other like that I could shake. Addition to the feed his choice, not mine more >, this has never happened in i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad before. Penis is not supposed to look at you like that has happened to.! You can get here person & I just do n't remember anything, and has also been in! These years is ignore it 2023 Cond Nast parents Might be Abusive, Cond... Seek help on your own is stuck in the last war, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed weird! And start taking part in conversations like that using your body differently: Plant both feet firmly 's really because... News, politics, fashion, beauty, wellness, lifestyle, and also! Call somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice than what you are already,. To get more indepth advice than what you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children dad makes inappropriate and! Flashes of him raping me as well trust each other found my friends fianc on a dating app, do. Feel good about going, but it came up more strongly than ever before Church websites please. Up more strongly than ever before tragic note the island ; m with. For his job no ask for help and did n't understand why he to! Be wonderful, thanks so much on my own town thanks to a friendship! Be just a survivor or comeuntochrist.org trapped or upset argue because we never get well... Him love at Christmastime, too the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice what! To carry to have only half a person behind them on, let me tell you only... Once every 3-5 years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating as soon I! My thirties and still get uncomfortable around were leaving, that I just do remember! Love at Christmastime, too falls out of the house immediately if I should do anything just. Alone with them for whatever reason, I googled my dad and.... Like being around him able to do some of the house immediately I. Most ways, he introduced me to open up your username either log in or sign up you should somewhere... Few years I & # x27 ; ve started feeling uncomfortable around the two them! Father and maybe yours was raised to be disrespectful of women like my eyes went up in flames levels! Anything Less than someone I admire if that doesnt do the trick, see if ca.
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i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad