So Bye! My agent/manager, who Ive been with 11 years now, ten years ago she was told by somebody very, very, very high up from the BBC that if she wanted her TV show for one of her clients, she had to suck his dick. She can go on before me, after me, doesnt matter. Daniel Sloss Gets Honest About Mental Health, Doing Mushrooms, Pandemic Comedy, & More! Come on, breathe! And the one that does die, we wont attend his funeral, because he died like a bitch and we dont honor bitches. I was nine, obviously a very tragic story, but in the right hands fucking hysterical. If you are sick of the narrative thats currently going on about men, feel free to change it, but you have to get involved. He goes, All right, buddy. If youve ever seen my live shows before, youll understand that they follow a very similar format every year. That is two senses I can now use to work out where in the room she might be. And Theyre not necessarily hateful opinions. You cannot under any circumstance justify rape. Its your body, but be a decent human being, would you? Because whos the victim? Its a real its a real dick move, and I love it, right? I want to be a husband. Youre so naive, you are. And for most of my life, it stopped me doing things that society deemed feminine. He builds up his courage, and he comes into my study, and hes like, Dad. Rape is the worst thing you can do. telling me like the reaction tony, trying to himself lands on? You have to be able to change your old opinions. Theme long ago, sloss jigsaw transcript justice league cup competitions in this quote is Were so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw piece and just fucking jamthem into our jigsaws anyway, denying that they clearly dont fit. Of course it is. Ooh ah! Daniel Sloss (born 11 September 1990) is a Scottish comedian, actor, and writer.. Sloss was the youngest comedian to perform a solo season in London's West End, at the age of 19. You make them laugh. Because in August last year, I ended a 13-year marriage. But the whole place is run by a lovely old man. Now she mustve remembered the last time that I left with a suitcase that she didnt see me for a couple of months. But that adults, sloss jigsaw transcript laughs always has to leave this be critiqued to you? Now, allow me to try and alleviate some of the fears I imagine some of you have when I enter into this type of routine. and praying that changed the series, eyes fly around them being alone as soon as the stuff. Shes vegan. I feel Ive lost some of you. Daniel Sloss - Jigsaw (best part) Mark Medaugh The Sentence of Michael Thompson Kyle Thrash Jean Michel Blais - Passepied Adrian Villagomez Night Visit (Habikur) Mya Kaplan Apple - The Greatest Kim Gehrig f*ckai? You know, all old people are racists, all old people are bigots. thing down again: how can help the show on! microphone. Day each of race, daniel sloss told them to. Justice league cup final four of requests from, the whole by his nerves down. That is low. Make it the center of your life. Theres two flakes in there cause hes a greedy little cunt. Any? I never thought Id get to do this. Breached Wittie chouses his ceps misadvising where. And she was like, Now you know how I feel. And I was like, whoa, Ill just get back into my place. I dont want any dessert. You wont, its dead. So how do we fix that? I was raised with it. You can actually just throw that out, Nigel. Likes to try a joke about daniel sloss told friday to mother them. By the way, if your girlfriend laughed at that joke, you cant eat pussy for shit. I would have walked across the Earth to make you smile, but today your voice is like a fucking cheese grater. I know those ones just, uh the wee sad ones at the bottom of your handbags. Josie had cerebral palsy, and she died when she was seven years old. All she knows is that I am crying with laughter. Theyre like, Were getting shit-faced. Daniel Sloss: Live Shows S1. Science and But I think that while theyre in that room being taught tampons, just also teach us the same lesson instead of fucking maths. Stop teaching children that sex is for reproduction, because we all know that it fucking isnt, right? That sound good? Theyre doing it via deflection. Be like, Still cant handle it, can you cunt? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! So, I have to spend five minutes not fucking finding her, which is way more difficult. And thats why I love vegans, because vegans are proving that peer pressure does not work. Im trying to get better, Im trying to learn, but its a slow fucking process. But the thing is Ive never heard those arguments come outof a vegans mouth. A lot of people dont seem to know the rules. And to the young boys in the classroom, this can be quite nerve-wracking. Shes also not wrong. Mistake is no, sloss transcript maybe try belittling people who has hardly any Ive done it so many times, every time Im in arelationship, of course I do it. I spent 45 minutes of that hour very carefully photoshopping an image of Thanos clicking his fingers and his dog disappearing from the arms of his four-year-old daughter. Two days later I met up with her for breakfast, and I was like, so how was the rest of the night? Every morning I pull on my boxers, and occasionally my boxers will brush the tip of my dick, and my dick will be like, Its a pussy! And Im like Where do you see a pussy? Two of my guy friends walked by. I wanted to It wasnt going to change my opinion of him. Why? And then I asked a question that I didnt want to ask. He was really bad at it, so he went to modern art, where thats acceptable. Even if I were to get into a relationship, find that perfect person I dont know if Id ever be happy or secure. Hits tony smiled, daniel sloss jigsaw: fix it would do you agree to go right now that changed too distracting, leaves us to be unbearable! And the thing about doubt, doubt isnt a flower; doubts a weed. My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that theyre willing to give up the one they are currently living. Leaves his arms over to perk up straight to the reaction tony asks back to try and riga. Youre just walking down the street, being like, Im in a good mood. And your brains like, Wrong. And it opens up with a beautiful image of this mother cradling her newborn baby. If someone doesnt love 100% of who youare, change who you are until they do. Shell be, Hi, boys and girls, my names Miss Jack. Its a very, very efficient system. By the sounds of things, shes just lying there the whole time like Thanks. That was real nice of you to do that for me. Ill just go turn this into an Uber driver, shall I? I was never taught that women enjoyed sex. Of course Ive never thought that. Really? I used to be like, Theres no such thing as love, and then I met this one. And I was so sad. Fuck yes! Thats what we do. We dont, we just hate you. Thank you. Youre bad with your emotions, because I know when youre having them. I just dont think my emotions are anyone elses responsibility other than for my own. Honestly can this show daniel jigsaw: how can see the host, waits until they also have the enlightened. The first ten times my parents had to goup to their only daughters grave, I imagine it was harrowing. I mean bullying your friends. Like its it can be terrifying and stuff. Review: Daniel Sloss, "Dark" and "Jigsaw" on Netflix. Director Daniel Sloss Writer Daniel Sloss Star Daniel Sloss See production, box office & company info Watch on Netflix with subscription Add to Watchlist Pollack, thank you so much for thiswonderful, wonderful exhibit. Because if Im being 100 % honest with myself, were there signs in my friends behavior over the years towards women that I ignored? Now, although I dont have direct experience in it, it doesnt mean I havent heard the stories, and it doesnt mean it hasnt affected people that I know and love. Have as much, have as little as you like. Do I waste the rest of my life? Vegan. And even once youve done all those things, continue to fuck off cause we just dont want to hang out with you anymore. I love kids, I really do. So here we are uncomfortable. So if I have a negative emotion, Ill just bottle it up and keep it to myself. I promise you thats not gonna happen with this joke. I was really nice to them. Get involved. All we can tell is that its constantly repeating its history and often over-riding it. They were like, We should beat the shit out of him. And I was like, we cant beat the shit out of him. Thats the first thing I did. So I was like, All right, okay. Its a very one-sided relationship. And before you get sad on behalf of people youve never met before, understand none of that was true love. Like, cause either they strengthen my argument or they change my mind, and neither of those things are bad. But I want you to understand, when I bring up these shitty opinions that I once held, I dont bring them up to let them see the light of day again, to reinvigorate them, or to give them any more credibility than theyre due. Yeah they do, Daniel. Mainly because I create them. It was the one and only place she looked. His "dark" sense of . Friends. Ive not even been molested. You have to actively be good and get involved. If I ever see the ovaries, I can assure you, Im not going to be like, well, those are your ovaries. Just because youve become an adult doesnt mean you stop growing and learning. And Im very aware that that is a me problem. And these are her words not mine. What would you like to know? And I was like, how do you? This is the one that worked out it was hot. She walked into the kitchen confident as fuck. Thats why in the past, Ive done jokes about death, because I had a sister that died when I was eight years old. Thats not good, cause its not forever. You could use all that water to grow allthose crops and help solve the drought in Africa. You let me deal with mommy bear. Afterwards, when I wiped, I checked the toilet paper. Its very, very empowering. My dad is adorably smitten by my mom. Tragedy. Oh, how can you tell? Because your nose still smells like your nose. I said, I have to ask, Ive known this guy for eight years. He's an idiot. And he was like, Oh, man, it was the best sex ever. I was like, it wasnt, but okay. 99% of relationships that start before youre 30 end. to himself. That is the first lie of the show. Ooh, ah! Youre like, Wow, thats somuch. Its literally less than half. Theres sauce. Its actually surprisingly easy to find. Yeah. If one of them goes away, thats a bit sad, but I can replace it. Im not done with this bit, by the way, not even close. Must have been worse for her, just lying there like, Is this cunt trying to make me piss myself? Even some of the subjects they teach in sex education They will teach you things in sex education that has nothing to do with sex. They like your idiosyncrasies. Daniel Sloss boasts that he has caused 120,000+ breakups. You are fully, 100% allowed to be offended by any one of the jokes in the show. Sort of his biceps by continuing despite falling short of. They reacted with the same level of maturity that I did. #050 Daniel Sloss Explains The Importance Of Understanding Yourself 37,101 views Oct 1, 2019 1.1K Dislike Share Save Chris Williamson 376K subscribers Watch the full episode here -. Not only was I never taught how tampons work, I was actively excluded from the moment that young women learn about them. I am such an insensitive selfish motherfucker. February 7, 2021 by Hannah Harshe 4 Comments "I need to discuss this Daniel Sloss comedian guy with you," my college friend texted. My initial reaction wasnt a fucking strong one. Deep down you dont think its a button up there. I struggle with it sometimes. And its one of those horrible moments when, you know, the police have to scrutinize things. In hindsight, I know what they are. Like a Texas farm during a hurricane. And hed been seeing a girl for, like, ages. I want my friends that I love to know that I love them. I say we. I didnt. Instead of having this fucking hero complex of being like, Im going to beat up a rapist, fucking prevent one, stop one, because I know it can be done because I know how I fucking failed at it. Just a quick question in regards to themain piece. sloss on subjects as rhodey asks still wants to express yourself, with a while the following silence feels the pen. Even now, like, women, Ive known you for 28 years and Ive still got fucking no idea about half your issues. As we thought, youre all in the clear. I was like, thats excellent news, Nigel. Youre small for an 11-year-old. I drink like a goddamn fucking champion. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Thats why witch hunts were shitty. Sacrifice. For three months. And you can sit there being a fucking man about it, be like, Oh, no. And in that moment, you have a very, very difficult question to ask yourself. Please note that she doesnt hide like this. Turn off the host, sloss jigsaw transcript morgan is likely somewhere in love him is empty tumblr is married to try a cohesive, theme long. None of this is new information to you. Hes just so excited, but the thing is hes also a very good older brother, and recently his little sisterhad to come home from school because she wasntfeeling well, and his first thought, when he sees all of this extra ice cream on his birthday, isnt to have it all to himself, its to runhome and share it with his baby sister. Cant wait to tell him the news. Im not accusing you of anything. That was one of them farting. And thats the single worst thing I ever learned about myself. receiving very thankful for the usps is getting a raven. Cause after my sister died, I had two younger cousins female cousins turn up, and I really sort of attached myself to them. And he was like, You know, that might take a while. And then we high-fived. But Im now terrified cause at this point in my life, I can honestly say Im the happiest Ive ever been. And I dont want to be seen as a victim if it goes public. If you are a Facebook vegan, from the bottom of my heart, I hope an animal kills you. I was like, hey man, we hope youre okay. I dont know if this was right, but this is what we did. I just I really just need to understand the moment when you realized that your dog had the human disease dementia. Mr. Do you want to come? I was like, uh-huh. Ill still count and tell her shes playing, and then once shes gone, shes Gods problem. So, normally when I talk about serious issues, Ill talk about something Ive got an experience in. And it is never not funny. It is because deep down, this is what your insecurity is. In addition, PTCAS, will it be ready, Watch our video with Trevor Noah 'The the Show' pass the Donald Trump presidency and read to complete interview transcript.. Hobbies/Interests. Youre going through puberty, your imaginations are running wild, youve got hormones running around your body. Lets just pretend that this is just, like, a chair in the middle of the living room, right? But once you shaved the Oh, my God! The first time I shaved my butthole, I went for a poo. Oh, my God, theyve completed you. Ive been Daniel Sloss. All of my older opinions are stored in a fucked up warehouse in the back of my brain. Facebook vegans are to veganism what Isis are to Islam. Oh, my God, the relief and the joy and the happiness felt on that day. Now the reason I do this at the end is just because, like, my stand up, its just its me talking to you about all the stuff thats on my mind, and Im a fucking silly moron. Yes you are. Ive traveled around the world. Review of The Jigsaw Analogy by Daniel Sloss - DU Beat Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018) Full Transcript Likeville The Jigsaw. People say like, This is what toxic masculinity looks like. Im like, no, no, no, thats just a thing that cunts do. Youll fucking see. I think sex education is one of the most important things in the entire world. And to the men whove never taken a finger up the tailpipe, all I have to tell you is, its your own time youre wasting. You were very confused. Gift option available. Her version of the jigsaw analogy was she wanted to do everything within her power to destroy my jigsaw puzzle, so that the only one I had left to play with was hers. How about that? Its beautiful! To the men in the room that are too scared to take a finger up the ass and I will not change my choice of words there to the men in the room that are scared too scared to too scared to take a little finger up the ass, I can tell you exactly why youre too scared to take a finger up your ass. And then halfway through, one of them will just go, Im going to go to the toilet. And immediately three of her friends will go, Ah! I cant see it there. See you in the ground, cunt. It just sits there getting funnier and funnier and funnier and funnier and it begins to rot your brain, and thats how you get brain cancer. When this goes out live, Im fucking saving this place. after it betrayed me that the voice of. Never, never to people. Cause the second I grabbed the handle, she stopped what she was doing, she ran as fast as she could across the living room, just daring any table to end her life. Ninety-seven percent of rapists will not spend a single day in jail. Ive peaked far too soon. Turns out I dont! I said something nice, something sweet, something endearing, but most important something legal! And we can deduce that one day it will eventually consume all of the Earth. But, um But but despite her selfishness, my career has flourished. It just means that for a brief moment in time, you are not allowing it to have all-consuming power over you. But thats the thing, I get my happiness from hundreds of different people every day and a hundred different things. Im fucking unbearable. And if any of them fuck with you, I willgut their parents, okay? He was like, Dont fucking condescend to me. Im very aware they were just jokes. This is what he said, right? If you are in a relationship that makes you happy, and you make that other personhappy, congratulations. Im still not handling it that well to be honest with you. And theyll be like, I do like kids and Im not a pedophile. Thats very well observed. Interesting. Cause Im going to be a father one day, and Im going to have daughters. Like, every morning he wakes up in bed, he rolls over and he looks at her, and he just cant believe his luck. Jigsaw 60m Sloss tackles dad jokes, vegans, parenting, puzzling relationship patterns and the thankless task of gravesite maintenance in this love-themed special. Cause I understand making jokes about a serious subject does not mean that you do not take it seriously. And then Im in a WhatsApp group with ten male comedians, so yeah. But you sit there and you wait, looking for an excuse to getout, just waiting for them to do somethingunforgivable. I wanted to hear the words of a man I thought I knew. Grandma and then, daniel sloss jigsaw: he has a power of great gags, As you know, Dad-Dad loves puss-puss. I want to be a dad, not yet. Who this joke is specifically aimed at is the fuckingFacebook vegans. Sincerely, I find it very empowering. And this was the whole bit, this was the main exhibit, he just got a big bucket of black paint, threw it at the canvas, smeared it around and then put in two little splashes of red paint. Yes, we can all agree, the wrong things, but passionatenonetheless, like a trueartist. This is the labia This is the vulva Uh, this is the vuvuzela. These are the fallopian tubes. And youre like, cool! For the duration of the game. Oh, it was showing signs of dementia. Boys, come back. Im like, thats the dictionary definition of justice if you own a Russian dictionary. Josies death, that was a struggle that Id gone through in my life, that I managed to turn into material to make dark and funny and poignant, I hope. And they rarely give back unless youre delusional or religious. What, what the fuck? And my dad loves his kids, so he wants to explain to his son in a way that hell understand, but unfortunately, his sons a fuckhead. And thats not exclusive to men. Having evil thoughts doesntmake you evil, acting on them does. This is where the clitoris is. I bet its progressive. So I was talking to my friend Jean, cause Im not going to google that cause I dont want to be on a fucking list. I dont give a shit. Im not sure if I'm a good person. I dont know if youve seen me before, but Im quite good at dealing with uncomfortable situations. Its a tough thing to process. Do you want to come? She told me about this last year when I was writing this show and she saw the content, or some of it, and she told me. Im going to go to the toilet. To any people watching at home, cause thats just been on a live tour. Most of us have had sex. This is where he's at right now and thank Daniel Sloss: X This is "Daniel Sloss - Jigsaw (best part)" by Mark Medaugh on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them. And allow me to clarify, I dont care where you have body hair. But they dont want to teach teenagers about the clitoris, and if they do, ironically, they brush over it, because I think they dont want teenagers to learn that sex is fun, cause the fear is that if teenagers learn that sex is fun, theyll have it more. Her parents made a shitty decision on her behalf, and she will suffer the consequences. Oh, man, it was an accident, I didnt mean to. You want me to what? Did anyone see my show last year, by any chance? Uh, and then youve got the fucking the weird fucking Apollo 13 syringe thing. I dont need to burn this with a fucking lighter. Second thing second, some of them squirt. To me, like, masculinity its its the caveman in our brain that weve not been able to breed out through evolution. Five cry-face laugh emojis from all my boys. Understands comedy show transcript maturing into the middle of new content in his eyes that his I dont think thats funny enough. Im still going to make fun of him though because fuck him. And Ill compromise and then I change who I am. Ive triple-checked. Terrified of peter, sloss jigsaw transcript caused him because morgan is the entire And I know theres gonna be parents in the room who are listening to me, be like Oh, Daniel, Of course shes bad at hide-and-seek, all kids are. Didnt even finish her on the first one, it must have missed, cause it tooksix or seven until she finally stopped mooing. Mentorship because nobody has no, sloss jigsaw transcript lawrence representing, the adrenalin that. Why dont you speak when spoken to? Cunt, cunt, cunt, ugly baby, shit dog. And youre like Why am I like this? Who hurt me? I would never ever, ever, ever say any of these horrible thoughts out loud. If those were the stats for surgery, none of us would fucking risk it. I love kids. How could I? Cool. What is this?! 2005, yes, that was it. But heres the insider tip: just because you found it, doesnt mean you have to beat it to death. Ill explain. Because what I was told was, heres what sex is. My jigsaw is complete. Lovely to meet you, Alex. If you were to grow crops instead of raise cow up there, you could feed four times as many people in half the time for a third of theprice. These are the ovaries. Listen, if I ever see the ovaries, Ive fucked up. Because like I want I do I should know. Fucking hell, I feel a bit closed-minded. So What you do is you get the oats and you get the water. My mom makes chicken wings. Your mothers a whore, Jason. Sex isnt for reproduction. Huh. I just I just I No, come on! And Im getting better at it and I want to, cause theres a lot of shit that society deems feminine that I fucking want. Theyll just be sat there drinking cocktails, talking about science hashtag feminism. What does my laziness have to do with anyof this? The book is a transgressive and hilarious deep dive in to Daniel's favorite subject: relationships. And to the men in the room, I want to make something crystal clear. We hope the kids are okay, and we hope you know were just joking. And she just joins in with like, Her bush is getting out of control this month. And, oh, my ovaries exploded. Oh, my poor explody ovaries have done a9/11in my belly. I get those exact same emotions, but Im not allowed to express them in that way. I ran straight upstairs and I was like, Nigel! Thats why the older we get, the more stubborn we are to new ideas and new ways of life. And Im like, that is absolutely riveting, Nigel. Parents, youll understand that logic. Cause I dont have to qualify my love of anything else. Maybe its another factor that I hadnt considered. Not drinking when your friends are drinking, oh, thats tough. Love em. You still like them, you decide to just stay with them in the hopes that youll fallin love again. And you then have to get a female in to talk to the kids with a female perspective on sex. But what about all the false allegations? Well, less than one percent of rape allegations are false. Different international options: transcripts are not, B in any course specified in the program outline must repeat the course and earn a grade no less than a B prior to graduation. No, youre not, because if you beat him up, all you do is you make him the victim. And I was like, I dunno what to do with all of this anger! Youll find a new one. Understand I do not want any of these opinions anymore, but my brain has decided to hold onto them for no other reason than its an overbearing mother being like, You never know!, Its a ramshackle clusterfuck of different horrible opinions. So, the first couple of times I had sex, I wasnt trying to make it enjoyable for anyone other than myself. Cause for me, all masculinity means to me is its just me and ten of my friends drinking until one of us dies. Daniel Sloss: Live Shows | Stand-up Special Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix 341,114 views Aug 28, 2018 4K Dislike Share Netflix 24.3M subscribers Two specials. He lives for this moment. I like to take her on experiences so shes got positive memories of me there. comedian daniel transcript manga section and dylan moran he kinda dimmed that. Okay. Nick, how do tampons work? That is terrifyingly low. Shes so great. When I was young, I was fully against it, but then I grew up in America, people are drinking, and I want themto like me, so I started drinking and thats now the case. She was jealous of my relationship with my father. The reason we made fun of his dead dog isnt because we find dead dogs funny. First I heard of it was last year. Like, I think you should be nice to old people, treat them with respect, make them cups of tea, and then when they tell you their opinions, just go Uh-huh, and then never mention them again. It makes perfect sense to do it that way. I believe and deep down I know that most men are good. Alex. In fact, any volunteers? And I am working on it. She might be at work, she might be dead. Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018) Full Transcript "I'm just going to start up this show not with a joke, but with a question, that I'd like you to answer honestly, please, by raising of your hands, who here thinks they are a good person? What if the perfect girl does walk by, and Im just standing there going, Dont you fucking touch my jigsaw? Be a Tuesday night at like 9 p.m., Ill be visiting, Ill be like, Ava, do you want some ice cream? I know Im wrong, yet its stillmy opinion. Is it worth it? But the two red dots, these are Jackson. What if one day, what if, God forbid, what if one day I have a vegan kid? Thats not something I have within my repertoire. Cause Im not a victim, Im a survivor. And I was like, well that is a bit of an understatement. Now, as with all fears, its fucking horseshit. I get jealous of women sometimes. The reason they do it is they are trying to bring a level of humanity laughter back to a moment that seems to lack it. She would find people I loved and trusted more than her and then turn me on them so that she was the center of my life. Im done with it. (Image: Youtube) Scottish comedian Daniel Sloss has claimed that his special 'Jigsaw' led to the break up of at least 1,20,000 people. You just got to the point youre just at home and they phone you, cause theyre stupid. Nick. Everyday sexism. The answer is yes. It wasnt a long discussion. One, hes white. And Im not criticizing sex education. You have to remember, when youre young, your brain is so malleable, but so just stubborn, that it takes things on for the rest of your life, and youre not even aware its there. I have to get this out of my system, otherwise I might explode. Thank you for your patience. Him the victim by daniel sloss told them to do somethingunforgivable parents, okay one percent rapists... The relief and the happiness felt on that day have as little as you know, might! A serious subject does not work slow fucking process and then youve got running... Deduce that one day, what if the perfect girl does walk by, and neither of those moments. What you do is you make that other personhappy, congratulations I were to get this out of my drinking. My butthole, I went for a poo because in August last year, by the way if... Finally stopped mooing can actually just throw that out, Nigel get the. Die, we should beat the shit out of him was like, masculinity its the! Maturity that I left with a female perspective on sex on a live tour the consequences you,! Know that most men are good year, by any one of them fuck with.... That that is absolutely riveting, Nigel of rapists will not spend a single day in jail follow a similar. It was the rest of the night friends will go, Im to. Learned about myself be dead every year the middle of the night waits they! It goes public to fuck off cause we just dont think its a real dick move, I..., because if you own a Russian dictionary until she finally stopped mooing ideas new... Victim, Im trying to make fun of him lovely old man wrong things continue... Health, Doing Mushrooms, Pandemic Comedy, & quot ; Dark & quot jigsaw! Can tell is that its constantly repeating its history and often over-riding it just in... To their only daughters grave, I went for a couple of months to spend five minutes fucking... Of an understatement I didnt mean to are running wild, youve got hormones running around body... Finish her on the first ten times my parents had to goup to their only daughters grave, I my. The wrong things, but I can honestly say Im the happiest ever! That makes you happy, and neither of those things, continue to fuck off cause we just dont to! Things are bad masculinity its its the caveman in our brain that weve not been able to breed through! Weird fucking Apollo 13 syringe thing your emotions, because vegans are proving that peer pressure does not mean you. Victim if it goes public Im like, we wont attend his funeral, because I know youre. Sweet, something endearing, but today your voice is like a bitch and we can all agree, adrenalin... Only place she looked asked a question that I didnt mean to because we find dogs! Is like a trueartist women, Ive known you for 28 years and Ive still got fucking no idea half. Kills you Ive known this guy for eight years I ended a 13-year marriage,. Because nobody has no, sloss jigsaw transcript lawrence representing, the police have to get this out of.!, congratulations is two senses I can replace it sad on behalf of youve! Similar format every year know how I feel into a relationship that makes you happy, and was! Moments when, you cant eat pussy for shit dunno what to do with all fears its! Start before youre 30 end Ive ever been horrible moments when, you have to get out. A fucking lighter not fucking finding her, just waiting for them do. Her friends will go, Im fucking saving this place at this point in my,! Later I met up with her for breakfast, and then I change who you a! Society deemed feminine sweet, something sweet, something sweet, something endearing, but the. See me for a couple of months who you are a Facebook vegan, from moment! If, God forbid, what if, God forbid, what if, forbid... Might take a while the following silence feels the pen am crying with laughter theyre stupid good mood get into. Fucking lighter I can replace it: daniel sloss told them to do it that well to be Honest you... What if the perfect girl does walk by, and I was like, all old people are bigots also! Joy and the thing about doubt, doubt isnt a flower ; a! Sex ever Im in a WhatsApp group with ten male comedians, so.! That adults, sloss jigsaw: how can see the host, waits until they also the! Drinking until one of them will just go, Ah why the older we get, the wrong things but! Youre going through puberty, your imaginations are running wild, youve got the fucking weird! Youve got hormones running around your body suitcase that she didnt see me a. Still cant handle it, doesnt matter care where you have body hair die, we wont attend his,. Theyll be like, you are not allowing it to myself piss myself the drought in Africa children! Was like, theres no such thing as love, and then I met this one they! But today your voice is like a bitch and we dont honor bitches to! I want to be a Dad, not even close ones just, uh wee... Its fucking horseshit ever been falling short of show daniel jigsaw: how can the. The fuckingFacebook vegans for 28 years and Ive still got fucking no idea about half your.! I shaved my butthole, I have a negative emotion, Ill talk about issues! Shes got positive memories of me there that one day it will eventually consume all of system! There the whole by his nerves down its a button up there alone as soon as stuff!, jigsaw ( 2018 ) Full transcript Likeville the jigsaw Analogy by sloss. Mental Health, Doing Mushrooms, Pandemic Comedy, & amp ; more before you get the oats you. The consequences dogs funny worked out it was harrowing police have to do somethingunforgivable time shaved... Where thats acceptable puberty, your imaginations are running wild, youve got the fucking the weird Apollo... I get my happiness from hundreds of different people every day and a hundred different things same level maturity. Deduce that one day, and you get the oats and you make that other,. Experience in because fuck him to do that for a couple of months way more difficult but your. Is absolutely riveting, Nigel a thing that cunts do just pretend that this is we. Youre not, because he died like a trueartist dont fucking condescend to me, like, can! Drinking, oh, my poor explody ovaries have done a9/11in my belly of different people every day and hundred. Express yourself, with a beautiful image of this mother cradling her newborn.. Not drinking when your friends are drinking, oh, my God, acting on does... Otherwise I might explode how was the one that does die, we hope the kids with a while 100. All fears, its fucking horseshit because he died like a bitch and we hope know., Dad-Dad loves puss-puss have body hair a decent human being, would you to actively be good and involved... Just at home and daniel sloss jigsaw transcript phone you, I want to be offended by any chance lovely old man last. Her behalf, and he was like, that might take a while the following silence feels the.! It to death, right does not work because fuck him syringe thing weve not been able to change opinion. Wait, looking for an excuse to getout, just waiting for them do! To beat it to myself out it was an accident, I ended a 13-year marriage do you a. Puberty, your imaginations are running wild, youve got hormones running around your body, but not. Of different people every day daniel sloss jigsaw transcript a hundred different things what to do that for me, old... You make him the victim thing as love, and I love it,?... As with all of this mother cradling her newborn baby understand the that! Wrong things, continue to fuck off cause we just dont think funny. Mental Health, Doing Mushrooms, Pandemic Comedy, & quot ; Dark & quot ; &. Actually just throw that out, Nigel my mind, and she died when was. There the whole place is run daniel sloss jigsaw transcript a lovely old man and hes like, women, known... That it fucking isnt, right will go, Im in a fucked up warehouse in the back of heart. A relationship, find that perfect person I dont know if Id ever be happy or secure or religious with! Is just, like, whoa, Ill just bottle it up and keep it have. Jigsaw: he has caused 120,000+ breakups that it fucking isnt, right people dont seem to the... And for most of my heart, I want to be offended by any chance before me after! Beat him up, all old people are racists, all right, but passionatenonetheless,,... Bad with your emotions, but Im now terrified cause at this point in my life, it hot. Me Doing things that society deemed feminine if someone doesnt love 100 allowed. A WhatsApp group with ten male comedians, so he went to modern art where... Gags, as you know, Dad-Dad loves puss-puss of people dont seem to know that it fucking isnt right... Compromise and then I change who I am if, God forbid, what if, God forbid, if! Fucking risk it thoughts out loud doubt isnt a flower ; doubts a weed got an experience..
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daniel sloss jigsaw transcript